PINK PANTER

A hipster whose name was Leon

Was cleaning his pants of neon:

To ensure they’d maintain

The brightest colour stain,

He washed them with hot pink crayons

PINGER

A guy with hair like MacGyver

Was snorting some E through a fiver

He was celebrating

His championship win

In the ping-pong grand final decider

LEMON DROP

This hipster’s light-lemon bum bag

Was so full it started to sag

Down to the exposed knees

Over which Gim had squeezed

Lycra bike shorts covered in zigzags

WATER COOLER

A hipster on summer vacation

Was “camping” close to a gas station.

He walked to a brook,

Didn’t step in, just looked,

For fear of “mainstream” damnation

THE ROYAL TENANT BUMMER

This hipster lass got quite upset

When her Wes Anderson films boxed-set

Was discovered all bruised

For her housemate had used

It as an ashtray for cigarettes

TAT EEEEW

A hipster lass went out and got

A tattoo in an abandoned lot

Now on her left ribs' side

Do dreamcatchers reside

But Hep-B is also what they've caught

FERRY TALE

A hipster was looking quite merry

As he posed on the Manly ferry

For this glasses-clad lad

Was convinced that he had

Pulled off the look of Richardson, Terry

INTERNET EXPLORER

A hipster lass went with her crew

To a new boutique brewery in Kew

But before heading out

To drink organic stout,

She checked that they had Wi-Fi too

ALL BEARDS AREN'T CREATED EQUAL

Out with his hipster boys, drinkin’,

A lad said “I bet that Abe Lincoln

Would be so jealous

Of the long beards on us,

Thoughts of envy he'd surely be thinkin’ ”

TOAST MASTER

A hipster lass had an idea

After many sips of ginger beer:

She’d recycle typewriters

Into bread alighters

And type on the toast words of cheer

COQ AU VAIN

Though a lazy hipster named Chief

Wears sneakers from Le Coq Sportif

The only sport he plays

On a week’s many days

Is to judge others with disbelief

BOOTLEGGER

Though the rolled up jeans Dhan was wearing

Weren't original, weren't daring,

Pink Tiny Tim boots,

Worn for daily commutes,

Got him his yearned-for fair share of staring

HEAD AND SHOULDERS

A lad by the name of Jerome

Spied a marble bust at his mum’s home

He thought, “I will use that

To display my new hat

And the Le Specs I brought back from Rome”

MAGNUM WHITE

In shorts that were both white and tight

And a tank top toned equally light

A lad looked angelic

Channeling Tom Selleck

As a bonus, he glowed in the night

LOONY CORN

This shoulderpad-wearing young lass 

Ate, post her yogalates class,

"Gourmet" corn on the cob

That cost many a bob...

Its crazy high price was just crass

HUES SORRY NOW

A young lad simply could not choose

Which Instagram filter to use

This extreme indecision

Led to damaged vision

Now he can't even make out hues

SUMMER SOLST-ASS

At a one-day, new-music festival

A lass calling herself Percival

Wore cut-offs so short

That her friend did retort:

“Why’s the moon out when there’s sun that’s estival?”

FOOTLOSER

This hipster lad was just achin’

To emulate young Kevin Bacon:

His sweatshirts were improved

With each sleeve he removed,

Now to Footloose’s tunes his bum’s shakin’

BAR TENDER

While lounging at a rooftop bar,

Showing his “fixie accident” scars

This lad almost cried

As he recalled the ride

That had damaged his Nitto drop bars

TEAM SPIRIT

A young lad by the name of Mit

In front of ebay did sit

Searching: “vintage track team

T-shirts in white or cream”

To wear while smoking American Spirit

IN A PABST LIFE

In his best, oversized trucker cap,

While nursing a beer in his lap,

This young hipster boy

Felt immense loads of joy

From getting his dear Pabst on tap

BJORN THIS WAY

As he lay navel-gazing in bed  

While sporting sweatbands on his head,

This hipster lad feared

That his small "Bjorn Borg" beard

Simply made him look like a dickhead

JUST IN TIME

A hipster alone, drinking gin 

And researching bands from Berlin,

Puts the volume to high

On his clandestine buy:

A CD from Timberlake, Justin

EASY STRIDER

His blonde, mullet haircut aside,
Another thing filled Floyd with pride:
His collection of shirts 
Made from tartan-print skirts,
Gave him reason to not walk, but stride

KATJA N' THE RYE

An oversized-T-wearing guy

Looked so happy that he might just cry

When a hot lass sat down

Near him and, with a frown,

Asked the waiter for tofu on rye

GOLDEN BOY

A young lad who calls himself Lamber,

Clad in his mom’s vintage Jil Sander,

Says to the poor bar man

“This beer poured from a can

Should be described as golden, not amber”

SKATE BORED

A board-holding hipster named Nate

Felt his ego begin to deflate

When some gals passing by

Looked at him with a sigh

And said "I bet he can't even skate"

MISTER MYSTERIOUS

A lass thought this hipster delirious

When he said to her in tones serious:

"My issues are much

To deep for you to touch,

I'm sorry, I'm just so mysterious"

THE DOC IS IN

A hipster in Doc Martin boots

Heard two mainstream gals in cahoots

Say that they liked the guy’s

Choice of wear ‘neath his thighs -

He felt ill at such praise from "pleb newts"

WINDOW PAIN

A lass by the name of Elaine
Was thrilled when it started to rain
She took many photos
Of her own "casual" pose:
Staring blankly through the window pane